I was about ten years old, sitting in a hotel room in Bangalore and a chess board in front of me. The weather was very pleasant outside, but I had just lost a game and as I was analyzing the game with my coach. Things were not that pleasant for me in that room. He was clearly unhappy with what I had done and getting angrier as the game was progressing. Leaving the unpleasantness aside, I was not too worried because this was not new to me. I had been there and done that. As always, I was being a studious learner and was quietly listening to all the suggestions/advice while thinking about when we will out for dinner, so I can have my dosa.

The next part of this fascinating story is not something I remember, but it was narrated to me by my coach, and this is how it goes. Later that night when we both were fast asleep, I apparently woke up in the middle of the night and pinched him hard on his arms and just looked at him calmly when he woke up in pain. I then said, ‘I am sorry sir, I am really sorry’ and just went back to sleep ???? Through my growing years I had Somnambulism, commonly known as sleepwalking. My family, friends and my coaches all knew about it, it was harmless and not too dangerous, so we always had a good laugh about it.

My coach, ‘Thirunagalingam sir’ as I always called him, was understandably not having so much fun this time. He asked me about the incident next morning and I had no clue about it. He had this look of disbelief in his face when he mentioned ‘Magesh, if you are angry with me, you can tell me. You don’t have to use your sleepwalking excuse to get revenge on me’ I was shocked myself when he told me what had happened because I could not recollect anything, and I did not remember even going to sleep feeling angry about anything he had said or done.

The best part of this was that a very similar incident had already happened with us. We were travelling together for a tournament in Calicut and one of the nights when we were fast asleep, I had got up, used my elbow to smack him right in his eye and when he woke up screaming, apparently, I said, ‘I am sorry sir” and went back to sleep ???? Understandably, Thirunagalingam sir was not buying my sleepwalking story anymore. Years later he would still recollect this story to friends and family, and we will all have a laugh about how he thinks these were my planned attack on him.

I got a message from my dad last week, that Thirunagalingam sir was no more. He was 73 years old, and his health was declining fast when I last met him over summer. As the news sunk in, I started thinking about my early chess playing years and started recollecting several fond memories. I realized that some of my most memorable experiences were always by his side. When I won my first National Championship in Sivakasi in 1998, I was travelling with him and staying with him. While most other coaches used to very harsh with their students’ mistakes, even hitting students at times, I never had to worry about that. He did get angry at my mistakes, but he never made me feel unsafe. No matter where we travelled, I would insist on eating dosa for breakfast, lunch and dinner if possible and the poor guy ended up taking me to those restaurants. When I lost a tough last round game in the Nationals sub-juniors that I was so close to winning in Thalassery, I cried incessantly after the game in my dad’s shoulders, Thirunagalingam sir was right there by my side. When I was 14, my family decided to travel with me to the National Under 14 championship in Mumbai and after the tournament they all decided to go to Essel world while I was packed and shipped to my next tournament to Mount Abu with Thirunagalingam sir.

Thinking about some of my trips with him now, I feel it should have been hard for him to travel with a young kid who was constantly missing home and the fun activities. Luckily, I never associated any of my bad memories with him, but it was probably not as easy as he made it look. I was so desperate that once I tried to go to the bathroom right before we were supposed to leave home to catch a bus to go to a tournament. My brilliant plan was to stay in the bathroom long enough so we will not be able to make it on time for the bus, trip cancel! tournament cancel! and I stay home happily! As you probably guessed, that did not end well for me. A knock on the door and a smack in my head, I was sitting on the bus with Thirunagalingam sir heading to the tournament a couple of hours later.

As I sit here and wondering about my growing years, I can’t help but think about these experiences that has shaped my life. So many people have played a role in getting our lives moving forward and as we slowly pick up the pace, we see them fade away through our window. Not because they are forgotten, because that is how life works, it takes you places. Nevertheless, what they have left for us is so deeply embedded in us that it can never be separated. Every word that was said, every action that was taken, every mistake that was made, all played a role in what I am today.

Today, I am a chess coach, and I am hoping to be a part of my student’s journey. Being a coach is extremely fulfilling because somewhere, no matter how tiny it is, you are part of that student’s life. What I hope out of this career is not to create a world champion, but to have some of my students fondly remember their experience with me in a positive way years after I am gone. Afterall, all of us want to be remembered for something positive. However, this harsh beautiful life does one thing without any fail, it moves on. We will all be forgotten and no-existent at some point, but for a fleeting moment when someone turns their head back to see those years and maybe give a small nod to acknowledge that it happened, and it helped, makes all the difference.

That is exactly how I want to say goodbye to Thirunagalingam sir, I am turning my head back to those years and giving you a small nod, thanks for everything!